The hardest part of parenting a child with autism or a speech delay isn't the diagnosis. It isn't the therapy appointments. It’s the silence.
It’s the heartbreak of seeing your child cry and not knowing if they are hungry, tired, or in pain. It’s the desperate wish to just have a 5-minute conversation to know what is going on inside their beautiful mind.
We often think of "communication" as just talking. But for our children, communication is a complex puzzle. And sometimes, as parents, we need a map to solve it.
The Language of Behavior
When my child was diagnosed, I thought "therapy" was just about teaching him to say "apple" or "Mommy." I was wrong.
I learned that before a child can speak, they need to build a foundation. Think of it like a relationship:
Step 1: Do they look at you? (Eye Contact)
Step 2: Do they trust you enough to ask for help? (Requesting/Manding)
Step 3: Do they want to share their world with you? (Social Play)
If we try to force them to "talk" (Step 4) before they have mastered "Trust" (Step 2), we are setting them up for frustration.
Finding the Roadmap (The VB-MAPP)
This is where I discovered a tool called the VB-MAPP. In the medical world, they call it an "assessment." But I call it a "Translator."
Unlike standard tests that just give you a score, the VB-MAPP maps out exactly how your child is trying to connect with you.
It tells you if they are pointing to things because they want them or because they just see them.
It tells you if they are repeating words just to hear the sound or to communicate a meaning.
Understanding these tiny differences changed my relationship with my child. I stopped frustratedly asking, What do you want?! and started looking for the subtle signs I had been missing.
Building a Deeper Bond
If you feel like there is a wall between you and your child, don't lose hope. The wall isn't permanent. You just need to find the right loose brick to pull it down.
Tools like the VB-MAPP help you identify that loose brick. It might show you that your child is ready to use sign language, or pictures, or simple sounds. Once you find that opening, the bond grows stronger every day.
A Guide for Parents
If you want to understand this "roadmap" better, you don't need to be a therapist. There are resources available that explain it simply.
I found a wonderful guide specifically for parents that breaks down these communication milestones. It helps you see exactly where your child stands and what the next step in your relationship is.
Read: A Parent's Clear Guide to the VB-MAPP Assessment.
